Friday, August 26, 2011
Concealing Herself
Posted by silentwithin at 6:06 AM 0 comments
Friday, June 24, 2011
Inhuman? No One!
mere eight years old,
neither strong. nor bold,
works for you,
like an item sold,
eats your stale food,
that too in a broken mould,
plays with your,
child's rejected doll,
But,
still you hate her all.
And yes! You're a HUMAN BEING!
A boy,
aged sixteen,
paper seeming thin,
shattered clothes,
and face unclean,
On a roadside stand,
he serves you hot tea,
a few extra pennies is his only plea,
But,
merciless looks is all that you give.
And yes! You're a HUMAN BEING!
A couple,
as old as sixty,
gave you happiness infinite,
filled your stomach,
even if they had to eat slight,
they nurtured you all their life,
But,
as soon as they got you a wife,
You showed them way to their new OLD AGE HOME,
And yes! You're a HUMAN BEING!
A sparrow,
dumb and beautiful,
with feathers that are colorful,
quietly listens too all your sorrows,
and your dreams of tomorrows,
But,
you keep her captured,
giving her a cage for life.
And yes! You're a HUMAN BEING!
And now,
I ask you,
Inhuman?
Who's that?
No one?
Posted by silentwithin at 8:13 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
A dream born.....A dream shattered....
Posted by silentwithin at 11:37 AM 0 comments
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Dreams on Fire.....
the dried petals of the roses you left every morning
the love poems and lyrics we composed
the gifts,our photos,those greetings
the wonderful times we spent together, those abstract memories
the pages of my diary I filled about you every night......
You walked out of my life
without for once glancing back
But left these lingering traces
haunting and claiming my sanity
When I came to know
there is no more 'us'
But just you and me
gone in bifurcating ways
I decided to put an end to your memories
and sacrifice these reminders in the flames of fire
Years it took for me to nurture my dreams of love
but just a blink of an eye
for the incinerating fire to melt them into liquid dreams
Devoured the flames callously
Wiped them out from the chronicles of time
Undid the moments, erased out the memories
Scorched and scalded bits of paper
were all that was left of your love letters
Scarred and charred useless trash became all other gifts
For one last time before I could touch and feel the ashesthe cruel breeze blew off the ignited flakes of ash,disseminated them here-and-there
When it is all done
I look into the mirror...But it is not me who I seeAlas I never can forget you!
Incapable the fire was to burn the bonds which bound me to you
left those memories and scenes unblemished, untouched
I still see you...
your kiss...
your touch...
your love...
which warms my pulsating heart
gushing blood through veins
vitalizing every inch of my body
The record of every minute I spent with you,
is imprinted intricately in my memory
The past moments span in front of my eyes
playing in detail as if everything is happening right now
Still....
my heart contains love for you, swelling bountifully
my eyes refuse to vaporise your image locked in forever
my ears shamelessly long to hear you whisper my name
The brunt of your love which poisoned my body and soul
by burning the material traces will not be that easily obliterated
If your love is inseparable and a part-and parcel of my existence....
If I am your most striking remaining trace...
If you still exist in every drop of my sanguine blood....
If the passion of love burning in me can never be dampened....
If our souls are one intertwined for eternity that refuse to be apart...
Then how can I not set myself ablaze to truly forget you?
How can I not end my existence to put an end to your memories?
How can I not set myself ablaze to truly forget you??
Posted by silentwithin at 2:21 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Let me go...
Why did you let me go?
Wasn't I a big fool? To not see how much you loved me? Your eyes were a testimony to the brightly flickering love your heart contained for me. I ridiculed your love. I guess I took your love for granted. Like the ever punctual sun which rises at daybreak without fail. I overlooked the fact that clouds can clog the sun rays to streak through and give rise to perpetual darkness. Worse still, polar sky doesn't see advent of dawn as sun sinks below the horizon during winter solstice.You were my eyes, providing rose hued perspective to perceive the beauty of the world. And there I was, blind to even something right in front of me and pristinely visible, as the unconditional love you showered on me.
You didn't for once hesitate to entrust your heart---the vitality of existence, to me. But there I was, pinching the very same heart which loved me.
I was on a mission to lament on your every move, trying to pick out errors and reproaching at your otherwise too perfect character. I made it a point to torment you, and make your life a virtual inferno. You tolerated stoically saying not one word against me. You overlooked all my mistakes and held nothing against me. There was not a wee bit decrement in your irrefragable love for me.
I openly showed my growing disinterest towards you. I deliberately dissented with you,argued at every possible word you said and quarrelled over trivial matters. Anything to show that you were unwelcome now and that I needed you no longer. All those times, you stood mum and submissive, supporting my ridiculous point of view though you knew I was being illogical.
I did see you when you were alone and all by yourself, you would cry heartfully wondering at what might have possibly gone wrong with our relationship. Wasn't it just yesterday that I promised my love will be eternal, and will stand the test of time? And today I forget my own promise I made to you.I saw your eyes replete with tears unable to see my love diminish for you. You would blame yourself,ascribing my change in behaviour as your own fault rather than sensibly reasoning to my own sadism. Watching you shed tears, I would smirk that my whole plan to get rid of you was working.
You were there for me, when I went on risking my life seeking precarious adventures and chasing after false vanity.
When I ventured into the sea of storm, you were my harbour keeping me safe after ship-wreck.When I was gasping for air, drowning in the dark waters, you were my breath and respite.
Eventually you saw that I was no longer happy with you. It disheartened you to finally come to terms that you were not the one for me. You realised that the relationship has gone far beyond the threshold that anyone could mend. You stepped back, retreated far away from my sight and from your heart-of-hearts wished that I find true love and everlasting happiness elsewhere
But now i ask you ....why did you let me go?
Now, I want to come to you, plead you to forgive me and accept me back. But then it dawns upon me, that it's too late. Our relationship has really gone beyond the threshold that anyone can mend.
It was a foolish thing to have you let me go. To be the reason of my own downfall. I conspired to free myself from the shackles of your protective arms. I thought it was your heart that I crushed. But it was my own heart that I stabbed and now it is bleeding profusely.
Posted by silentwithin at 11:06 AM 0 comments
By my words, I walk
Posted by silentwithin at 12:37 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
The footsteps that faded...
Posted by silentwithin at 11:50 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
From the Oops! File....
Oops!
My mom: What!!?? Red is mine!! I've been using it all these days. You girls got confused.
Oops! Oops!!
The next day, at school's lunch break, being hungry I opened my lunch box. My heart sank after I ate a salty sandwich and spitted it out! I realised my mom being unwell couldn't cook anything and packed the same salty sandwich for my lunch.
Oops! Oops!! Oops!!!
Posted by silentwithin at 11:09 AM 0 comments
Monday, May 16, 2011
For her.....to Heaven.......from Earth
Though everything I write is a poem to my mother.”
-- Shouran Doubiago
Words like Superwoman and Woman of substance stand nowhere when it comes to describing a mother. I always fall short of words when I have to scribble about the one I can only see in pictures. On this Mother’s day, I wish to thank every mother on this Earth. Not only that, but this Mother Earth too.
I feel pain when I see kids disrespecting their moms for the very little reasons. But probably that’s how God carved her. She keeps the strength of enduring child birth and at some time bearing rejection from the same child. She has the ability to become a shoulder for her tensed husband and at the same time can make her insecure teenager feel better.
All I know is that no Oxford Dictionary, no poet or no author can ever write the true worth of a mother, for it’s an emotion, to be felt.
I pay my gratitude to my mother via this poem, wherever she is. May her soul rest in peace.
God saw you getting tired,
And a cure was not to be,
So he put his arms around you
And whispered “come to me”.
With tearful eyes we watched you go,
And saw you fade away,
The angels carried you in their palms,
And for us, left no reason to remain calm,
Regret is a feeling I go through everyday,
For not even once I could hug you and say,
“I love you the most, maa”
In my own way.
Oh God,
Why couldn’t you just let us be?
She didn’t deserve to die,
She didn’t deserve to be in pain
Only to ask you, night after night-
When i cry in vain.
Each moment we miss you,
Many times we’ve cried,
If love alone could save you,
You never would have died.
Posted by silentwithin at 10:31 AM 0 comments
Sunday, May 1, 2011
From cradle to life...
was a seed planted.
By the mighty God,
was a life granted.
As the new parents,
cuddled their bundle of joy in their arms,
she gripped their finger in her palms,
they imagined all the great things,
their little princess would accomplish.
Soon, the rattle in her hand,
changed to a pencil,
with which several times,
she would write and cancel.
Sitting along her friends,
she decorated her doll into a bride,
and also her groom with pride.
Years passed,
and her small pink hands,
amazingly evolved to teenage manicured ones,
her cute two ponies to stylish laser cuts,
Johnson's baby stuff to Lo'real and Garnier,
baby shoes to pencil heels.
She pretended everything to be fine,
but, inside every moment she felt dying,
though at times found herself on cloud nine,
she knew, difficulties would freeze her spine.
She underwent several changes,
She faced tough times,
She beared heartbreaks,
like in the sun, the wet mud bakes.
Little did she know,
something was yet to arrive,
like a cherry on the cake,
someone was yet to come,
to take her away from her mum.
And finally, the day arrived.
The daddy's little girl,
to a dashing boy was tied.
She looked beautiful,
draped in a bridal chiffon,
of color red and many several tone.
Her heart thumped,
with doubts and confusions,
when the holy mantras,
with silent promises were spoken.
Into a new life she stepped,
the fear of responsibilities did pang her head,
trials and tribulations did never leave her side,
but the hurt in her heart she would always hide.
Though her world evolved with
insecurities,
confusions and
changes at every take,
her life continues to be same,
for everyone's sake.
Posted by silentwithin at 10:33 AM 0 comments
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Turning 18 ....
But what the calender told me this morning, separated all such childish feelings from me... I've turned 18 !!!! Being an Indian citizen I'm now an ADULT...eligible for a voter's card...in line for a driving license too..I felt a sudden pang of responsibilities hitting my shoulders. This feeling of turning 18 is unexplainable..somehow turning 18 and becoming BIG always remained synonymous for me.
Well, actually the day..this day when I've ACTUALLY turned 18 (hard to beleive yet), was quite full of surprises, when sharp at 12:00 am my cell phone rang displaying a call from an unkwon number. I was shocked to learn who they were? Yes, this call was not from a single person, but 6 friends of mine connected in a conference call. And I received wishes one after another, surprisingly. Those crazy friends of mine even recorded that 8 minute chat of our's. :)
Later, the day went smooth with me glued to the phone most of the time. I beleive that one's birthday is the only day when most of all the people in the world you know, tend to call to wish you :D .
My special day met with another lovely surprise in the late evening. I was gifted a cute, small baby-rabbit by my nephew and neice, which became one of the best gifts I've ever got!.
Last but certainly not the least, I was pleasantly shocked (yes, that way actually :D) when i saw my sister standing outside the door.
I had a little dinner party with my cousins and other family members and my face was decorated with cake all over :)
It was a beautiful day of surprises and a little (very little) disappointment because of a few people who didn't wish me. But undoubtedly, I know their wishes will always be with me! I missed my mom the most. 18 years ago, she brought me into this world and gifted me this life. Maa, wherever you are, just know that I love you and I really miss you!
That was all for my special day. I'll be back soon. Keep clicking :)
Posted by silentwithin at 10:51 AM 0 comments
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Behind the closed doors...
Inside me, I felt basket of fears compiling,
I looked around,
Only to find,
an empty ground,
Of my footsteps, I heard,
a noiseless sound.
A strange feeling touched my skin,
as if glued to my body,
were a thousands of pin.
The walls that were once so very dear,
now became the origin of my fear.
Behind those closed doors,
I cried,
the tears fell on my cheeks and dried...
Behind those closed doors,
I tried,
not to be afraid so,
but the terror inside me,
did never go.
Behind those closed doors,
there was someone,
whom noone will ever know.....
Posted by silentwithin at 2:31 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Gone are the days!
The school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and
benches!
When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books !
When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet
managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
We learnt writing with
slates and pencils, and
Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!
When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Color pencils and finally sketch pens!
When we chased one another in the
corridors in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms
Drenched in sweat!
When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds,
under the trees and even in cycle sheds!
When all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!
When a single games period in the week’s Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!
When few played
“kabadi” and “Kho-Kho” in scorching sun,
While others simply played
“book cricket” in the
Confines of classroom!
Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!
When few rushed at 3 o Clock to
“Conquer” window seats in our School bus!
Gone are the days
Of Sports Day,
and the annual School Day ,
And the one-month long
preparations for them.
Gone are the days
Of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams, And the most
enjoyed holidays after them!
Gone are the days
Of tenth and twelfth standards, when
We Spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!
We learnt,
We enjoyed,
We played,
we won,
we lost,
We laughed,
we cried,
we fought,
we thought.
With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more!
Gone are the days
When we used
to talk for hours with our friends!
Gone are the days
When we used to mimick teachers!
Gone are the days
Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!
Gone are the days
where we got lectures from all!
Gone are the days ......
But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and
Ever and ever and ever…..
Posted by silentwithin at 2:16 AM 0 comments
Labels: school
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The Bride
draped in bridal chiffon,
with complexion of gold,
long tresses flowing down like a waterfall,
decorated with glittering jewellery.
That is how she looked when
reflected in waters- adorable and beautiful.
but certainly the reflection could not
show her heart's turmoil.
with each passing moment
her heart thumped
with doubts and confusions,
will he love me?
will he care for me?
will our minds and hearts be in sync?
her heart posed such thousand questions
each one demanding its answer first.
He sat beside the holy fire
waiting for her to come
an arrange marriage it was
she had seen him only in photographs
which were still hidden under her pillow,
though she stared at them often,
he was someone different in real.
Handsome and elegant he looked
and trustworthy too
and appeared like a gaurdian angel
she was swept away by his charm.
And
finally the auspicious moment dawned upon
The enchanting of blessed mantras,
The flicker of holy fire,
The fragnance of incense sticks,
floated all over the air.
He held her hand, the soothing touch, firm yet gentle,
secretly she stared into his eyes for a moment
and his black eyes said it all,
he seemed to make silent promises
"I'll overcome all odds and keep you happy, my bride"
With blushing red cheeks,
she looked down,
her doubts and confusions flied to oblivion.
Her heart leaped out
As the 3 knots were being tied
bonded with trust and love
The 7 steps were taken
around the flickering holy fire,
for 7 births of togetherness
and lifelong commitment.
Circling around the flickering fire,
she offered a silent prayer
"may my marriage last till eternity,
I'll treasure our permanent union
and promise to stand by my soulmate
in all stages of life."
Posted by silentwithin at 9:26 AM 0 comments