Dreams on Fire.....

The love letters scented in musk we wrote
the dried petals of the roses you left every morning
the love poems and lyrics we composed
the gifts,our photos,those greetings
the wonderful times we spent together, those abstract memories
the pages of my diary I filled about you every night......


You walked out of my life
without for once glancing back
But left these lingering traces
haunting and claiming my sanity


When I came to know
there is no more 'us'
But just you and me
gone in bifurcating ways
I decided to put an end to your memories
and sacrifice these reminders in the flames of fire




Years it took for me to nurture my dreams of love
but just a blink of an eye
for the incinerating fire to melt them into liquid dreams
Devoured the flames callously
Wiped them out from the chronicles of time
Undid the moments, erased out the memories

Scorched and scalded bits of paper
were all that was left of your love letters
Scarred and charred useless trash became all other gifts
For one last time before I could touch and feel the ashesthe cruel breeze blew off the ignited flakes of ash,disseminated them here-and-there

With a sigh and a phew
When it is all done
I look into the mirror...But it is not me who I seeAlas I never can forget you!

Incapable the fire was to burn the bonds which bound me to you
left those memories and scenes unblemished, untouched

I still see you...
your kiss...
your touch...
your love...
which warms my pulsating heart
gushing blood through veins
vitalizing every inch of my body

The record of every minute I spent with you,
is imprinted intricately in my memory
The past moments span in front of my eyes
playing in detail as if everything is happening right now


Still....
my heart contains love for you, swelling bountifully
my eyes refuse to vaporise your image locked in forever
my ears shamelessly long to hear you whisper my name


The brunt of your love which poisoned my body and soul
by burning the material traces will not be that easily obliterated


If your love is inseparable and a part-and parcel of my existence....
If I am your most striking remaining trace...
If you still exist in every drop of my sanguine blood....
If the passion of love burning in me can never be dampened....
If our souls are one intertwined for eternity that refuse to be apart...



Then how can I not set myself ablaze to truly forget you?



How can I not end my existence to put an end to your memories?



How can I not set myself ablaze to truly forget you??

Let me go...

*PURELY FICTIONAL*

Why did you let me go?

Wasn't I a big fool? To not see how much you loved me? Your eyes were a testimony to the brightly flickering love your heart contained for me. I ridiculed your love. I guess I took your love for granted. Like the ever punctual sun which rises at daybreak without fail. I overlooked the fact that clouds can clog the sun rays to streak through and give rise to perpetual darkness. Worse still, polar sky doesn't see advent of dawn as sun sinks below the horizon during winter solstice.You were my eyes, providing rose hued perspective to perceive the beauty of the world. And there I was, blind to even something right in front of me and pristinely visible, as the unconditional love you showered on me.

You didn't for once hesitate to entrust your heart---the vitality of existence, to me. But there I was, pinching the very same heart which loved me.

I was on a mission to lament on your every move, trying to pick out errors and reproaching at your otherwise too perfect character. I made it a point to torment you, and make your life a virtual inferno. You tolerated stoically saying not one word against me. You overlooked all my mistakes and held nothing against me. There was not a wee bit decrement in your irrefragable love for me.

I openly showed my growing disinterest towards you. I deliberately dissented with you,argued at every possible word you said and quarrelled over trivial matters. Anything to show that you were unwelcome now and that I needed you no longer. All those times, you stood mum and submissive, supporting my ridiculous point of view though you knew I was being illogical.

I did see you when you were alone and all by yourself, you would cry heartfully wondering at what might have possibly gone wrong with our relationship. Wasn't it just yesterday that I promised my love will be eternal, and will stand the test of time? And today I forget my own promise I made to you.I saw your eyes replete with tears unable to see my love diminish for you. You would blame yourself,ascribing my change in behaviour as your own fault rather than sensibly reasoning to my own sadism. Watching you shed tears, I would smirk that my whole plan to get rid of you was working.


You were there for me, when I went on risking my life seeking precarious adventures and chasing after false vanity.

When I ventured into the sea of storm, you were my harbour keeping me safe after ship-wreck.When I was gasping for air, drowning in the dark waters, you were my breath and respite.

Eventually you saw that I was no longer happy with you. It disheartened you to finally come to terms that you were not the one for me. You realised that the relationship has gone far beyond the threshold that anyone could mend. You stepped back, retreated far away from my sight and from your heart-of-hearts wished that I find true love and everlasting happiness elsewhere

But now i ask you ....why did you let me go?

Now, I want to come to you, plead you to forgive me and accept me back. But then it dawns upon me, that it's too late. Our relationship has really gone beyond the threshold that anyone can mend.

It was a foolish thing to have you let me go. To be the reason of my own downfall. I conspired to free myself from the shackles of your protective arms. I thought it was your heart that I crushed. But it was my own heart that I stabbed and now it is bleeding profusely.

By my words, I walk

An usual question I was asked,

that left me wondering in my past,

I scanned my mind that felt hollow,

To know the footsteps that I follow.

 

 

Whom do I follow?

Mahatma Gandhi?

With the world who fought,

For us, our independence he caught.

No,

For I don't keep that BIG power.

I almost die fighting the difficulties that life shower.

 

 

Then?

Mother Teresa?

The heart that was

the purest and the kindest.

No,

I turn selfish many many times.

 

 

It must be some of my teacher then?

Who guided me all through my school years.

No,

I could never be as respectable as her.

 

 

Is it my parents?

who sacrificed all their dreams,

for my happiness.

No,

I don't have a heart THAT big.

 

 

I stood by my window

And saw the sands of time...

And now finally knew!

Those footprints were mine...

The one I had created...

 

 

I realised...

I was too weak to follow someone..

And too strong to walk upon my own..

The footsteps that faded...

PART 1

“He is my hero.” I said to myself often.  All I saw was he..he...and...he...

I met him exactly when I needed him the most. His dark black eyes were the most beautiful pair I had ever seen.

He took me into his world.

With closed eyes I went...walking on his own feet...

I didn’t know where he was taking me..probably I didn’t want to know...for his world was fascinating...

WE walked for long....yes, now he and me were WE...I, on his feet...He, into my eyes...

On the way, he taught me..all that he knew...to make me happy...

He told me...what life was...

I listened..

I understood..

I thought..

And..

I loved..

Him...

I walked...

With him...

I did not follow him...How could I do that? He walked right beside me...always...

I was happy...

PART-2

“Goodbye, my love”

“No, you can’t do this to me”

“Take care!”

And the footsteps in the sands of time....faded....

From the Oops! File....

1)     That day I was fuming. There was a particular gadget about this blogger that was getting  on my nerves. With BIG hopes that my friend is going to help m out, I dialled his number.

989......559

1^st ring....

2^nd ring....

The other side answered “Hello?”

And this side was me “This is getting enough man!”

And he spoke... “Actually, Bhaiya has gone for a bath.”

Oops!!

2)    I had gone for a family function. I saw a girl sitting in the front row. I could see the half side of her face and suddenly I recalled her to be an acquaintance. I stood up, went to her.

Hey..How are you? Long time, noh?

She turned her face towards me. I had never ever seen her!!

Oops!!

3)    There was just one month left for the 10^th board exams and my math teacher made sure that I was into books all the time for the reason that I was extremely poor in mathematics. She took our extra classes during winter vacations and made me and a few more classmates of mine sit under the sun to study. There were some dried leaves fallen on the ground. We made it a play to write on those leaves and pass on to each other while she looked away.

I picked up a leaf and scribbled “I hate this teacher! She’s sick!”

And without looking up I raised my hand in the right direction expecting my friend to catch the leaf. But...but....teachers always reach you at the wrong time !!

A few seconds later, I was picking the dried leaves along with my friends! L

Oops!! Oops!!

4)    My dad bought 3 new toothbrushes. Red for me, blue for my sister and yellow for my mother.

    One day I went to the wash room and noticed that my tooth brush was wet even before I used it. I had a doubt that my sister got confused and used mine, so I went to ask her.

Me: Sis, did you use the red tooth brush? That is mine. Yours is blue or something right?

Sister: What? No...all these days I've been using red. Yours is yellow... I am sure.

Oops!

My mom: What!!?? Red is mine!! I've been using it all these days. You girls got confused.


Oops! Oops!!

5)    Once I was very angry on my sister for some reason. I wanted to take revenge on her. I added salt in her home delivered favourite veg sandwich which she ordered

The next day, at school's lunch break, being hungry I opened my lunch box. My heart sank after I ate a salty sandwich and spitted it out! I realised my mom being unwell couldn't cook anything and packed the same salty sandwich for my lunch.

Oops! Oops!! Oops!!!

For her.....to Heaven.......from Earth

“My mother is a poem I’ll never be able to write,
Though everything I write is a poem to my mother.”
                                                 -- Shouran Doubiago
Words like Superwoman and Woman of substance stand nowhere when it comes to describing a mother. I always fall short of words when I have to scribble about the one I can only see in pictures.  On this Mother’s day, I wish to thank every mother on this Earth. Not only that, but this Mother Earth too.
I feel pain when I see kids disrespecting their moms for the very little reasons. But probably that’s how God carved her. She keeps the strength of enduring child birth and at some time bearing rejection from the same child. She has the ability to become a shoulder for her tensed husband and at the same time can make her insecure teenager feel better.
All I know is that no Oxford Dictionary, no poet or no author can ever write the true worth of a mother, for it’s an emotion, to be felt.
I pay my gratitude to my mother via this poem, wherever she is. May her soul rest in peace.


God saw you getting tired,
And a cure was not to be,
So he put his arms around you
And whispered “come to me”.

With tearful eyes we watched you go,
And saw you fade away,
The angels carried you in their palms,
And for us, left no reason to remain calm,

Regret is a feeling I go through everyday,
For not even once I could hug you and say,
“I love you the most, maa”
In my own way.

Oh God,
Why couldn’t you just let us be?
She didn’t deserve to die,
She didn’t  deserve to be in pain
Only to ask you, night after night-
When i cry in vain.


Each moment we miss you,
Many times we’ve cried,
If love alone could save you,
You never would have died.

From cradle to life...

Inside a vital womb,
was a seed planted.
By the mighty God,
was a life granted.

As the new parents,
cuddled their bundle of joy in their arms,
she gripped their finger in her palms,
they imagined all the great things,
their little princess would accomplish.

Soon, the rattle in her hand,
changed to a pencil,
with which several times,
she would write and cancel.
Sitting along her friends,
she decorated her doll into a bride,
and also her groom with pride.

Years passed,
and her small pink hands,
amazingly evolved to teenage manicured ones,
her cute two ponies to stylish laser cuts,
Johnson's baby stuff to Lo'real and Garnier,
baby shoes to pencil heels.

She pretended everything to be fine,
but, inside every moment she felt dying,
though at times found herself on cloud nine,
she knew, difficulties would freeze her spine.

She underwent several changes,
She faced tough times,
She beared heartbreaks,
like in the sun, the wet mud bakes.

Little did she know,
something was yet to arrive,
like a cherry on the cake,
someone was yet to come,
to take her away from her mum.

And finally, the day arrived.
The daddy's little girl,
to a dashing boy was tied.
She looked beautiful,
draped in a bridal chiffon,
of color red and many several tone.

Her heart thumped,
with doubts and confusions,
when the holy mantras,
with silent promises were spoken.

Into a new life she stepped,
the fear of responsibilities did pang her head,
trials and tribulations did never leave her side,
but the hurt in her heart she would always hide.

Though her world evolved with
insecurities,
confusions and
changes at every take,
her life continues to be same,
for everyone's sake.